I’ve been quite down the last few days and I can’t pin point what it is that’s making me so upset.
I feel like I have lost control over a lot of things recently and no way of getting them back.
I went for a MRI scan last Monday and that’s thrown me off my daily anxiety and switched it up a level. I get my scan results in 2 weeks and I already feel sick about it. I can’t be ill again. How can I? I have Lake, I’ve got to look after her and Lewis. I haven’t got time to be ill or the Funds to be off sick.
Last Monday night on the way home from Sheffield I didn’t even speak to Lewis. I blanked him just like my brain had blanked me. I had been in a state of panic but asleep, a terror but floating. My scan took about a hour but I had to wait 2 hours for it so Lake and Lewis patiently waited for me in the hospital. I can only explain a MRI scan as being in a sensory deprivation tank and being somewhere between asleep and awake, weightless and floating.
I’ve had a cold again and I can’t get rid of it. My nose is blocked and I’ve got congestion pain and a head ache that’s lasted 8 days now.
When will this end