I hate being an over thinker. I over think every single situation that goes on, in my life and it’s exhausting. I’m currently thinking about one situation and I’m playing it back and forth, two and fro and when I feel like I’m getting somewhere another thought springs up like a icon with a stupidly annoying alert that you always forget to change like ‘oh hey you forgot me! I’m a different scenario to put a spanner in the works and make you over think about a possible new accurace and get a different outcome but really you’ll end up in the same place’
My brain irritates me. I have no kill switch. Nothing that makes me so relaxed I fall to sleep.
The great life of someone with fatigue, chronic illness, anxiety and insomnia.
And now another cold.
This time last week I was at a baby shower shovelling my face with cake and cups of tea and now we’re all in the house in separate rooms.
Lake is having a nap that I’m sure because I’m writing this now she will wake up and scream until I go and get her.
Lewis is in bed, poorly sick and close to dying ….
So this was as far as I got before she woke up and Lewis started doing a man moan to call me upstairs. It was so sunny yesterday when they were having they’re mid afternoon nap I brewed myself a Costa coffee in my favourite mug grabbed a cigarette and took myself to the bottom of our garden on the pebbles and sat. Not on a chair or wall, just me, no phone no book just sat and watched all the little things function from the ants to the birds. How the slight breeze moved the trees and felt grateful for what I have and how special it is.
I had a bath that evening and shaved my legs. Yes you read that correctly. I actually shaved my legs for what must be the first time in 2.5 months and I feel like I’ve got skinny legs again.