I’m wide awake after just getting up with Lake. She was in a bit of a flap because she couldn’t find her donkey (a jelly cat called donkel) I’m now back in bed watching her on the monitor soothe herself back to sleep and rub his ear next to her face. She’s had a the same nasty cold I have had this last week and although she’s over the worst of it I can’t help but feel for her when I hear her coughing herself awake. I’m looking forward to getting her a big bed at Christmas so I can climb in with her and cuddle her until she falls back to sleep. It’s so hard with her still being in a cot because if she falls asleep on me I can’t lift her back in bed.

I look at her and I feel my heart expand with happiness and sadness all at the same time. I’m so happy but sad she will grow and fly the nest. Sometimes I wish she could just stay my little baby for a little while longer. I’m getting all emotional thinking about her 2nd birthday and how it’s weeks away and how I felt this time 1 year ago when she turned 1.

She’s more than I ever expected, she’s shaped me in a way I thought no person could and she’s fixed wounds I never thought would heal.

She’s not just a child.

She’s my child and I’m so proud.


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